I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
