Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
