They have a pepper shaker for pot.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
