Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
