I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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