Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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