My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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