Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
