nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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