so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
