i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
