Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
