If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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