its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
