Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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