this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Randomize
