I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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