man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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