the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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