Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
