theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
