i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
