He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
