How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
