we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
