Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
