your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
