Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
