In the future we'll all be gay
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
