they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
