Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
