This house was built for laser tag.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
