Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
