Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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