Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
