Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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