Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
