your thong is hanging out like whoa
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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