I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
