WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
