Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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