when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
