i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
