Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
