she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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