thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
