Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
