Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
