She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
