Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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